Self Love or Christian Love?
Self-Love in Common Culture (Psychology and New Age)
Love Others as You Love Yourself
The Priority of Others Over Self
Self-Love Action #1 – Mindful Selfishness
Self-Love Action #2 – Self-Care vs. Sacrifice
Self-Love Action #3 – Boundaries – Really?
Self-Love Action #4 – Forgive Self ?
Self-Love Action #5 – Purpose vs. God’s Purpose
God Gives the Ability to Truly Love
Self-Love in Common Culture (Psychology and New Age)
- “A state of appreciation for oneself that grows from actions that support your physical, psychological, and spiritual growth” (psychologytoday.com and chopra.com) [emphasis added]
- Widely practiced in U.S. culture
Self-Love Actions
Self-Love Actions (psychologytoday.com, chopra.com):
- Mindfulness (knowing what one thinks, feels and wants)
- Self-care (sound nutrition, exercise, healthy activities, etc.)
- Boundaries (exclude or limit time with people that ‘deplete’ or harm)
- Forgive self (accept responsibility, but do not punish oneself, self-compassion)
- Intentional living (live with a purpose)
Love Others as You Love Yourself
- Christianization of the ‘Self-Love’ philosophy misinterprets the Bible
…you shall love your neighbor as you love yourself – Mat 22:39, Ro 13:9, Mk 12:31, Gal 5:14, James 2:8, Lev 19:18, Lev 19:34
- Self-love interpretation: before you can love others, you must first love yourself
- Misinterpretation of the word ‘as’
- Self-love: ‘as’ = ‘after’
- Biblical: ‘as’ = ‘since’ (an assumed fact)
- The phrase ‘…as you love yourself’ assumes that people already love themselves
- A key Scripture that proves that people already love themselves:
For no man ever yet hated his own flesh; but nourishes and cherishes it, even as the Lord the church…Nevertheless let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself; and the wife see that she reverence her husband. (Eph 5:29, 33)
- The word ‘as’ in the Bible is used as a comparative to something that is assumed to be true:
Mat 12:13 – Jesus’ heals a man’s hand ‘it was restored whole, as the other’
Mat 17:2 – Jesus’ face ‘did shine as the sun’
Mat 6:10 – Thy will be done in earth, as it is in heaven
Ja 5:17 – ‘Elijah was a man subject to like passions as we are’
Rev 1:14 – ‘His hairs were white like wool, white as snow’
Etc., etc., etc.
The Priority of Others Over Self
- Christians are commanded to prioritize others over self
Let nothing be done through strife or vainglory; but in lowliness of mind let each esteem other better than themselves. (Php 2:3)
When you are invited to a wedding, do not sit down in the highest place…but rather the lowest place (Lk 14:8, 10)
Be kindly affectionate one to another with brotherly love, in honor preferring one another (Ro 12:10)
Whosoever will be great among you, let him be your minister (Mat 20:26)
What is Love?
- 1 Cor 13:4-7
Suffers long
Kind
Does not envy
Does not vaunt itself (elevate)
Not puffed up (proud / arrogant)
Does not behave unseemly
Seeks not her own (selfish)
Not easily provoked
Thinks no evil
Does not rejoice in unrighteousness, but in the truth
Bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things
Self-Love Action #1 – Mindful Selfishness
- Mindfulness (knowing what one thinks, feels and wants)
- Bible response:
Love does not envy (1 Cor 13:4)
Love does not seek her own (not selfish) (1 Cor 13:5)
Do nothing from selfishness (Phil 2:3-4)
Jealousy and strife = evil and confusion (James 3:16)
Those after the flesh mind the things of the flesh, but those of the spirit, the things of the Spirit (Ro 8:5)
Jesus died, so His people would no longer live unto themselves (2 Cor 5:15)
Christians die daily – (1 Cor 15:31)
Christians and their flesh are crucified to this world (Gal 2:20, Ro 6:6, Gal 5:24)
- Desiring the wants of self = PRIDE
Only by pride comes contention, but with the well-advised comes wisdom (Pr 13:10)
He that I proud stirs up strife (Pr 28:25)
Submission to others:
Submit to God (James 4:7, Ps 81:15)
Submit to those who rule over you (Heb 13:17, 1 Cor 16:16)
Younger to submit to elder (1 Pet 5:5)
Submit to husband (Col 3:18, Eph 5:22)
Submit yourself to one another (Eph 5:21)
Children obey parents (Eph 6:1, Lev 19:3, etc.)
Self-Love Action #2 – Self-Care vs. Sacrifice
- Self-care (sound nutrition, exercise, healthy activities, etc.)
- Eating healthy and exercising is good (3 John 2) but:
Fear God and keep His commandments, for this is the whole duty of man – Ecc 12:13
- Bible response to self-care:
Exercise of little value, godliness is of great value (1 Tim 4:8)
Eat what is sold in the market or is set before you (1 Cor 10:25, 27)
Abstain from eating for other people’s benefit and conscience (1 Cor 10:28-29)
All creatures are good – sanctified by the word of God and prayer (1 Tim 4:4-5, Acts 11:7-9)
- Martyrdom for the Gospel’s sake:
Stephen was the first martyr – Acts 7
Priscilla and Aquila risked their life for Paul (Ro 16:4)
Paul suffered for the Gospel (1 Cor 15:32, 2 Cor 11:16-33, Acts 9:15-16, 2 Cor 4:8-12, etc.)
Christians die daily and their flesh is crucified to this world (1 Cor 15:31, Gal 2:20, Ro 6:6, Gal 5:24)
It is the spirit that quickens, the flesh profits nothing (John 6:63)
The flesh versus the spirit (Ro 8:1-14, Gal 5:16-24)
Self-Love Action #3 – Boundaries – Really?
- Boundaries (exclude or limit time with people that ‘deplete’ or harm)
- This is often used as a reason for avoiding people who provide advice or disagree with the ‘self-lover’s’ beliefs or actions
- Bible response:
Love bears all things…endures all things (1 Cor 13:7)
Whosoever compels you to go one mile, go with him two (Mat 5:41)
Love your enemies, bless those that curse you, do good to those that hate you, pray for those who accuse you and persecute you (Mat 5:42)
He that separates himself seeks his own desire and rageth against sound wisdom (Pr 18:1)
Children are to honor and respect parents (Eph 6:2, Mat 15:4-6, Ex 20:12, etc.)
The Great Commission to spread the Word (Mat 28:19-20)
Be ready to make a defense for the hope that is within you (1 Pet 3:15)
- ‘One another’ passages:
Let us love one another – 1 John 4:7
Be subject to one another – 1 Pet 5:5
Have hospitality with one another – 1 Pet 4:9
- Be willing to listen to and accept criticism:
The ear that hears reproof of life abides among the wise (Pr 15:31)
Faithful are the wounds of a friend, but the kisses of an enemy are deceitful (Pr 27:6)
If your brother sins, go to him in private and tell him his fault (Mat 18:15)
Let the righteous strike me, it hall be kindness, let him correct me (Ps 141:5)
He who refuses reproof goes astray (Pr 10:17)
A fool despises his father’s instruction (Pr 15:5)
Self-Love Action #4 – Forgive Self ?
- Forgive self (accept responsibility, but do not punish oneself, self-compassion)
- No Bible passages justify this belief (false gospel)
- Bible response:
Ultimately, sin is against God since sin is the transgression of the law (Ps 51:4, 1 John 3:4)
The wages of sin is death (Ro 6:23), The soul that sins shall die (Eze 18:20)
The heart is desperately wicked (Jer 17:9)
There is none righteous (Ro 3:10-18)
God’s love: while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us (Ro 5:8)
Only God can forgive sins – Is 43:25 Mk 2:7
If we confess our sins, God is faithful to forgive our sins and cleanse us from unrighteousness (1 John 1:9)
The blood of Christ cleanses us from sin (1 John 1:7)
Christians should ask for forgiveness from one another (Eph 4:32)
Self-Love Action #5 – Purpose vs. God’s Purpose
- Intentional living (live with a purpose)
- Bible response:
The overarching purpose of a Christian is to fear God and keep His commandments, for this is the whole duty of man (Ecc 12:13)
Whatever therefore, ye eat or drink, or whatsoever ye do:
Do all to the glory of God (1 Cor 10:31)
In word or deed, do all in the name of Jesus Christ, giving thanks tom God the Father by Him (Col 3:17)
- Goal setting is not found in the Bible and has its roots in pride
Unless the Lord builds the house, the builders labor in vain (Ps 127:1)
As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are God’s ways and thoughts higher than man’s (Is 55:9)
What does the Lord require of you but to do justice, to love kindness, and to walk humbly with your God (Micah 6:8)
There are many devices in a man’s heart, but the counsel of the Lord, that shall stand (Pr 19:21)
A man’s heart devises his way, but the Lord directs his steps (Pr 16:9)
Commit your works unto the Lord, and your thoughts will be established (Pr 16:3)
Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him and he will make your paths straight (Pr 3:5-6)
The Example of Humility
- Jesus Christ’s Example for us:
Let this mind be in you, which was also in Christ Jesus: Who, being in the form of God, thought it not robbery to be equal with God: But made himself of no reputation, and took upon him the form of a servant, and was made in the likeness of men: And being found in fashion as a man, he humbled himself, and became obedient unto death, even the death of the cross. Wherefore God also hath highly exalted him, and given him a name which is above every name: That at the name of Jesus every knee should bow, of things in heaven, and things in earth, and things under the earth; And that every tongue should confess that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father. (Phil 2:5-11)
God Gives the Ability to Truly Love
- To love, we must know God
The love of God has been poured out into the hearts of by the Holy Spirit which is given to us (Ro 5:5, see also Lk 11:13)
For God has not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love and of a sound mind (2 Tim 1:7)
Beloved, let us love one another, for God is love; and everyone who loves is born of God and knows God. He who does not love does not know God, for God is love (1 John 4:8)
Summary
All people already love themselves (self-love)
- The 5 actions of self-love are all non-Biblical
- Christians are commanded to love others and consider others better than themselves and be sacrificial
- Self-love is selfish and prideful and has its roots in the original sin in the Garden of Eden (Gen 3:1-13)
- Mindfulness – Eyes to be opened, knowing good and evil (pride)
- Self-care – Tree good for food, pleasant to eyes, and make wise
- Boundaries – Adam and Eve hid themselves from God
- Forgive themselves – Adam blamed Eve, Eve blamed serpent
- Purposeful life – Sewed fig leaves to cover themselves