Training Children in the Way
Contents
The Covenant Relationship of Children
The Importance of Teaching Children
The Parents Witness to their Children
The Parents Desire for the Children’s Salvation
The Gravity of Teaching our Children
Introduction
The Bible teaches that the children of saved parents are in a covenant relationship to the Lord (1 Cor 7:14, Acts 2:39, John 4:43-54. etc). A covenant relationship does not mean that these children are automatically saved, but it is Scriptural fact that God often saves the children of saved parents (see Acts 16:31-34, 11:15, 16:15, 2 Tim 1:5, Jer 3:14, etc).
Parents must diligently pray for the salvation of their covenant children. There are many Biblical examples where it was the parents who diligently sought healing and salvation for their child. The Bible also clearly teaches that parents (especially the fathers) must carefully and diligently train their children in the ways of the Lord (Eph 6:4).
Although the Bible commands parents (and grandparents) to be the primary source of spiritual education and training, others may also assist in the covenant child’s spiritual education.
The relationship of God the Father and Jesus the Son is of great importance in the Bible. This relationship is discussed many, many times in the Bible. Therefore, we must take heed to the example of God the Father and Jesus the Son in our own human relationships. It should be a model for all fathers and sons. In a general sense, it should also be a model for parents and children. In John 5:19-20, we see the importance of the parent figure showing the child all things. The fact that a child learns by the example of the parents should be a sobering message for all parents today. This essay seeks to examine the Biblical method to train children in God’s truth (John 17:17-19). This will lead the child to become a follower of Jesus. Because we know that the Bible itself is sufficient for truth (2 Tim 3:16, Col 2:10, Jer 17:5, 1 Cor 1:20- 25, 2:50), we will diligently study what the Bible teaches concerning the training of children.
The Covenant Relationship of Children
A very important beginning to learn how to disciple children is that of the covenant relationship of believer’s with God. That is, the Bible teaches that the children of true believers hold a special standing in the eyes of God. In Cor 7:14, the Bible teaches that children of believers are even if one of the parents is unsaved. To be holy means to be set apart in a cleansed relationship with God. This is not to say that the children of believers are automatically to be saved. However, it is clear from the Bible that these children receive a special blessing that very often results in salvation. In Peter’s sermon on the day of Pentecost, he declared that the promise of salvation is for you and your children, And for all who are far off, as many as God will call (Acts 2:39). Here we find a bold declaration that salvation was for those present and their children as many as the Lord would call. We see that the children of those believers had a special standing in God’s salvation plan. Again, this is not to say that all children would be saved because the promise is whom God will call.
In the Old Testament, there are examples of a covenant relationship that God has with the children of believers. In the story of Noah, we find that Noah was found righteous (Gen 6:8-9). However it was Noah, his wife, his children and their wives who were saved in the ark. Additionally, God’s blessing was given to the nation of Israel. The nation of Israel was comprised of Jacob, his 12 sons and their descendants. Here again, we see the covenant relationship between a believer and his children. This is not to say that all of them were saved, but they all bore a special relationship to God. Importantly, the Scripture proclaims that God will save one from the city, but two from a family (Jer 3:14).
In the New Testament, the theme of a family covenant relationship with the Lord is continued. It is interesting to note in the book of Acts several cases of household relationships with the Lord. In Acts 16:31-34, Philippi an jailor and his household believed and were e baptized. We see Lydia and her household were baptized when she believed in the Lord (Acts 16:15). In Acts 11:15, we find how Cornelius and his household were saved together as the Holy Spirit fell upon them. We see how Timothy was part of a household that included a faithful mother and grandmother (2 Tim 1:15). Again, we find the official in Capernaum with his whole household who believed in Jesus (John 4:43-54).
All these examples should point to the fact that God often uses the family unit to bring salvation. Moreover, it is important to see that the family relationship is of utmost importance in the Bible. As we have already discussed, the family relationship is seen between Jesus and the Father. It is also seen in the relationship of Israel to God and the church to God. As we study how to disciple children, it is important to remember that God uses the parent child relationship in a special way to increase the kingdom of God. This is of vital importance in understanding the gravity and importance of training our children.
The Importance of Teaching Children
Before we begin to examine practical methods to teach our children, it is important to review the seriousness of teaching our children. In the Old Covenant, those children of rebellious and disobedient parents suffered death for the actions of their parents. This is an important lesson for us. Although God is sovereign and can saved whomever he wills to be saved, He also commands us to teach our children (Deut 6:4-6, Eph 6:4, 2 Tim 3:15, Ps 78:1-4, Pr 1:4, 4:1-4). God promises us that if we train up a child in the way he should go, he will not depart from it (Pr 22:6)
If we, as Christians do not train our children in the way that they should go, how can we expect them to be anything but rebellious. Sadly, there are many Christian parents who have not taken the time to train their children. Moreover, there may be many professing Christians that are a poor example to their children in that they do not live a life that honors and glorifies the Lord. The children of these parents are being severely harmed by their parents. On the other hand, if we train out children in the way that they should go, we should expect that they will likely to also be concerned with spiritual things. This does not mean that there may not be a period in their life when they have wandered into the way of the world. But, the Scriptures promise that when he is old, he will not depart from it. That is, our trained child may for a season in his and her life not live a Christian life, but through the mercy of God, they may be called to be a Christian at a later time.
The Parents Witness to their Children
A very interesting fact of Scriptures is that the Bible records many events in which the parents’ actions have resulted in the destruction or affliction of their children. Our first father, Adam, is a classic example. It was his transgressions that plunged the human race into sin and death (Ro 5:12:21). We see that because we are all in the loins of Adam, we have all suffered. We see that the children of the people in Sodom and Gomorrah were destroyed primarily due to the rebellion of their parents (Gen 19). Similarly, the plague of the death of the first born in Egypt was inflicted upon the children of those who were not obedient to God (Ex 11). David’s first child with Bathsheba died because of David’s sin (2 Sam 12:14-19). Eli’s in the rebuke of his sons resulted in the doom of his sons (1 Sam 3:13-14). The following additional verses are important to study concerning judgment inflicted on the children of those who are disobedient to God: Hos 2:4, 4 :13, 5:7, 9: 11-16, 1 Sam 28:18-19, Lam 5:7, Lev 20:5, 26: 39-42, Job 21:19, Is 14: 20-21, 65:6-7, Jer 32:18, Dan 6:24, Ex 20:5, Luke 19:44, etc. In these passages, we find examples where parents have fallen into idolatry, false gospels, and love for the things of the world rather than a love for the things of God. It is important that believing parents insure that they are teaching their children the true Gospel and that the parents are truly saved and not leading a Christian life that is the result of false profession. It is important that the Christian’s life be a fine example to their children in regards to personal devotion, love, Bible study and conduct.
It is important to note that this does not mean that if parents are rebellious, then their children will necessarily be lost. The Bible is clear that God is merciful and sovereign. In Jer 31:29-30 and Ez 18:1-30, we find that God will judge the wicked by their own works and will not judge the children if it that the children are righteous. No longer will the children’s teeth be set on edge due to the sour grapes that the fathers have eaten. That is, God is sovereign and merciful and will save people even if their parents may have lived a very wicked life. The son of the wicked Jeroboam is an example of this (1 Ki 14:13). Praise God for his mercy.
However, we must not lose sight of the responsibility of the saved parents to their children. In the very same passages (i.e. Jer 31:29-30 and Ez 18:1-30). we find that if the children of the righteous are wicked then these evil children will be cut off. Oh, how tragic! How important it is to earnestly pray for and disciple our children lest they turn out to be wicked. How often, in practice, we see that children of parents who are not living for the Lord ultimately rebel from Christianity and go on to live for the word’s pleasures.
Parents Must be an Example
Parents are quick to learn that children will tend to imitate their parents. This truism is confirmed in the Scriptures as well. First and foremost we see the example of Jesus the Son and God the Father. The Scriptures teach us:
Then answered Jesus and said unto them, Verily, verily, I say unto you, The son can do nothing of himself, but what he seeth the Father do: for what things soever doeth, these also doeth the Son likewise. For the father loveth the son, and sheweth him all things that himself doeth: and he will shew him greater works than these, that ye may marvel.
John 5:19-20
Here we see the initiative aspects of Jesus as Son. He learned all things from the Father and does what the Father does. The Bible also teaches us that the way in which a child is brought up will have a profound impact on how we will act when he gets old:
Train up a child the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it.
Pr 22:6
This Scripture is usually taken in the sense that it is vitally important for parents to train their children in Godly ways. But, what also is true in this Scripture is that when a parent does not train up a child in a way he should go, then it is unlikely that the child will not live a God – honoring life.
With this in mind, it is important for Christian parents to carefully examine themselves (2 Cor 13:5). Since the witness of the parents is so important, we must be very sure that we are leading a God – Centered life. We must carefully study the word of God so that we grow (1 Thess 2:13, 1 Pet2:2, John 17:17-19). We must be diligent to pray without ceasing (1 Thess 5:17, Eph 6:18). We must continually glorify the Lord in all things that we do (Col 3:17, 1 Cor 10:31).
But, in this case with all Christian parents? Is it that some are not very faithful to the Bible study, good works, and prayer? Is it true that some are quite attached to this world? Do they love the things of the world and neglect the things of the Lord?
The importance of the parents witness cannot be underestimated. It is our witness that will be the greatest impact on the future course of our children. Could it be that all parents that are reading this will carefully examine their own witness to their children? Could it be that they will stand in fear of the possibility that their witness may send their children on the wrong spiritual path in life?
But, we should be careful to remember that going through the motions of discipling our children without having the earnest zeal and love for the Lord in our own lives will almost certainly prove to be futile. This type of mechanical training will only result in the children seeing a great hypocrisy and contradiction in their parents .if they see their parents going through the motions of living the Christian life, not really bearing the fruits of being a Christian, then are we surprised that many ‘covenant ‘ children rebel?
A Typical Day of Discipleship
In the paragraphs to follow, we will examine some very ordinary happenings that occur in the lives of our children. I have tried to make general categories of events in the day of a child. Before we go on, Consider the following verses:
Hear, O Israel: The Lord our God is one Lord: And thou shalt love the LORD thy God with all thine heart, And with all thy Soul, And with all thy might. And these words, which I command thee this day, shall be in thy heart: And thou shalt teach them diligently unto thy children, and shalt talk of them when thou sittest in thine house, and when thou walkest by the way, and when thy liest down, and when they risest up. And thou shalt bind them for sign upon thine hand, and they shall be as frontlets between thine eyes. And thou shalt write them upon the post of thy house, and on thy gates.
Deut :6:4-9 (see also Ex 13; 8-16, Deut 4:9,20, Joel 1:30)
And ye fathers, provoked not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.
Eph 6:4
The Parents Desire for the Children’s Salvation
Although God often saves children of believers, it is very important to earnestly pray and desire the salvation of our children. Several examples in the Bible teach us to do this very thing. In Mark 9:16-27, we find the father who brought his demon-possessed son to Jesus to have a demon cast out. This father had such great love for his son. He earnestly desired that the evil spirit be cast out. This represents the fact that all parents should earnestly desire that our children do not serve the kingdom of Satan. Could it be that we, as parents, will earnestly bring our children before the Lord praying that our children are made clean from the spirit of the world?
The Bible talks of he Syro- Phoenician woman who diligently brought her child to the Lord (Mat 15:21-28, Mk 7:24-30). We see especially in this passage that the woman kept asking Jesus for the demon to be cast out. She persistently sought the Lord in this matter. There are many, many examples in the Old Testament of parents earnestly desiring salvation, cleansing and life for their children. The reader is encouraged to diligently study the following passages: 1 Ki 17:9-24, 2 Ki 4:8-37, Is 38:19, John 4:46-54, Mat 9:18-26, Mk 10:14-15, Mat 19:13-15.
But, what is the significance of the fact that parents should earnestly desire salvation for their children? How is that relevant to discipling children? Parents must be very, very concerned with the spiritual well being of their children. It is this command of Scripture for the parents to be concerned for the salvation as well as the spiritual training of their children. God will often use this concern as the catalyst to lead the child to salvation and discipleship. Oh, how tragic when parents neglect their children in this matter. Is it any wonder that many covenant children are lost to the kingdom of Satan?
The Command to Teach Children
Hear, O Israel: The LORD our God is one LORD: And thou shalt love the LORD thy God with all thine heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy might. And these words, which I command thee this day, shall be in thine heart: And thou shalt teach them diligently unto thy children, and shalt talk of them when thou sittest in thine house, and when thou walkest by the way, and when thou liest down, and when thou risest up. And thou shalt bind them for a sign upon thine hand, and they shall be as frontlets between thine eyes. And thou shalt write them upon the posts of thy house, and on thy gates.
Deut 6:4-9 (see also Ex 13:8-9, Deut 4:9-10, 11:19,20, Joel 1:3, Ps 34:11, 78:1-10
And ye fathers , provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.
Eph 6:4
The Scriptures are clear that the parents (particularly the fathers) are to diligently train their children in the word of God. The primacy and the importance of this cannot be understated. In all our activities with our children, there should be earnest desire to teach our children the ways of the Lord.
In Deut 6, as we saw above, the Scriptures teach us that we are to teach our children the things of the Lord while in our houses, when we are walking in our way, when we lie down and when we rise up. In short, our whole life in some way ought to instruct and teach our children about the ways of the Lord.
How it is possible to really spend that much time teaching our children? Is not the Deut 6 passage just an exaggeration to emphasize the point of teaching? No. This passage simply teaches that our lives as Christians should be a glowing example to our children. This would include times of direct teaching of the Bible. It would include how we conduct our lives at work and in the marketplace. In short, all that we do must glorify the Lord and teach our children Biblical truths. As we previously saw in John 5:19-20, the parental example to the children is of utmost importance in training children.
In Eph 6:4, we see that the fathers are to bring up their children in the training and admonition of the Lord. We, as fathers , must diligently insure that we are teaching our children the word of God. It is the word of God that is the milk by which our covenant children and we must grow (1 Pet 2:2). It is the divine mechanism that effectively works in us who believe (1 Thess 2:13). It is profitable for doctrine, reproof, correction and training in righteousness (2 Tim 3:16-17). It is the way by which the young man will learn to keep his ways pure (Ps 119:9).
Most importantly, when we teach our children the Bible ,we are bringing them the Gospel of our Lord. We are sent to be preachers of the Gospel (Ro 10:14-16). It is by the hearing of the words of God, that the people become saved (Ro 10:17). What better way for the covenant child to be saved than by preaching of the Gospel by his Parents?
Children, obey your parents in the Lord: for this is right. Honour thy father and mother; which is the first commandment with promise; That it maybe well with thee, and thou mayest live long on the earth.
Eph 6:1-3
Just prior to Eph 6:4, we find the Lord’s command to our covenant children. Our children must obey and honor us. When they do so, they receive a promise of God. It will be well with them and they will live long on earth. Oh, could it be that without provoking our children to anger, we would earnestly bring them the Gospel and disciple them? Could it be that God uses this very thing to bring our children into a saving relationship with the Lord.
It is also important that parents strive to teach their covenant children the Bible. There are many distractions in the Christian life. Therefore, it can be hard to always stay focused on the Bible. We often get sidetracked with all type of Christian videos, books, magazines and other ‘helps’. But, it is the Bible that truly is the word of God. It is on the Bible that we must feed our children. The Bible is Jesus Christ in written form. It is truly the Bread of Life. In addition, the grandparents also should be part of this discipling of children (1 Pet 5:5-6, 1 Tim 3:2, Titus 2:2-3, Deut 4:9, 67, 2 Tim 1:5).
Moreover, we must carefully teach our children the proper way to understand the Bible. That is, we must put the diligent study of the Bible before the reliance on man’s wisdom. The Bible is complete consistent, and its own commentary and dictionary. When we compare Scripture with Scripture, we can know that we are on the right track to teaching our children.
The Gravity of Teaching our Children
It is important to pause at this point to examine the importance and seriousness of this issue of discipling our children. We saw that in the Old Covenant that the children of rebellious and disobedient parents suffered death for the actions of their parents. Although God is sovereign and can save whomever He wills to be saved, He also commands us to teach our children (Deut 6:4-9, Eph 6: 4, 2 Tim 3:15. Ps 78:1-4, Pr 1:4, 4:1-4). God promises us that if we train up a child in the way he should go, he will not depart from it when he is old (Pr 22:6).
If we, as Christians, are not training our children in the way that they should go, how can we expect them to be anything but rebellious? Sadly, there are many Christian parents who have not taken the time to train their children. Moreover, there maybe many professing Christians that are a poor example to their children in that they do not live a life that honors and glorifies the Lord. The children of these parents are severely harmed by parents.
On the other hand, if we train our children in the way that they should go, we should expect that they will have bent to be concerned with spiritual things. When they see our example of earnestly studying the Word of God, praying, being faithful in our Christian life and having a zeal and love for the brethren, we should expect that our children will be rightly affected. Of course, this cannot guarantee that our children will be saved disciples of the Lord. But, since the Lord has shown in the Bible that he often saves children of believers, we have greater hope that they will be disciples.
In Eph 6:4, we see that fathers are to bring up their children in the training and admonition of the Lord. Fathers must diligently ensure that we are teaching our children the word of God. It is the word of God that is the milk by which our covenant children and we must grow (1 Pet 2:2). It is the divine mechanism that effectively works in us who believe (1 Thess 2:13). It is profitable for doctrine, reproof, correction and training in righteousness (2 Tim 3:16-17). It is the way by which the young man will learn to keep his ways pure (Ps 119:9).
Most importantly when we teach our children the Bible, we are bringing them the Gospel of our Lord. We are sent to be preachers of the Gospel (Ro10:14-16). It is by the hearing of the word of God, that people become saved (Ro 10:17). What better way for the covenant child to be saved than by the preaching of the Gospel by his parents.
Summary
The following summary is offered for review:
- Children of saved parents are in a covenant relationship to the Lord.
- Covenant children are not automatically saved, but God often saves covenant children.
- Parents must diligently pray for the salvation of their covenant children.
- Parents that do not properly teach their children the true Gospel and disciple their covenant children appear to be more likely to have children that will be unsaved.
- The Bible command parents to be the primary source of spiritual education and training.